Unshackling from Judgment
I have spent most of my life in Colorado: my high school years, my college years, and then back again after graduate school. Yet, when I lived in Colorado, I had a complicated relationship with some of the people (or so I thought). It turns out, though, that I was actually suffering from a complicated relationship with judgment, of myself and of others.
My family and I traveled to Colorado last month for spring break. I noticed my typical shift in being: I breathe easier, I feel lighter, and this time I noticed the growth of my gratitude. Let me tell you a story.
Colorado Gratitude
We were staying at one of our favorite places, the Colorado Chautauqua, which rests peacefully at the base of the magnificent Flatirons. Beans the dog joined us on our trip, and he woke early one morning before the sun rose. He and I headed out together to explore all the smells, feel the tall grass, and get our paws covered in red dirt. It was dark and we were alone, so I was especially conscious of the sounds around us (which weren’t many). I began to hear voices coming up the trail, and Beans and I turned to see two women running up the trail behind us. They were chatting and smiling. My first thought was, “Look at them go! How great that they have each other’s support hitting the trail at the crack of dawn.” I paused then, feeling keenly aware of how this thought differed significantly from the ones I might have had ten years ago. It was a moment when I felt like I had a birds eye view of my own life and journey, noticing the shift that’s taken place: from judgment to gratitude.
Years ago, I likely would have observed the women on the trail and had critical thoughts about myself (Why can’t I do that? I need to do better. I should be running right now. The list goes on…), or even (gasp) of them (I bet they don’t work or have any obligations. I know they think I’m lame for not running. They have nicer gear than me…). Typing these words I can remember how the tension in my chest would grow, remembering how heavy that judgment felt in my body. It literally weighed me down. It even took away from my experiences in my beloved mountains. Man, I’m glad to be on the other side.
Here’s the miracle of it all: not much has actually changed. I’m the same me. I have the same brain, same heart, same body. I still don’t wake up at dawn to go trail running. My gear is still just fine, nothing fancy. What has changed is my gratitude.
According to a study on gratitude’s benefits, it was found that “Gratitude unshackles us from toxic emotions…and Gratitude has lasting effects on the brain.” It’s true, folks. I was unshackled from judgment, made happier by my own thankfulness. Gratitude practices are highly effective in improving mental health and shifting everyday stress and self-talk. The month of April is stress awareness month. Here’s my stress relief challenge for you: write a list of three people/places/animals/whatevers for the next month. Don’t worry if they are the same everyday! Write down toilet paper if you feel at a loss! Then, examine how you feel after writing each day, and examine how you feel again after the full month. My guess is everyday you feel a little less shackled to whatever toxic emotion has you tethered. Good luck!
Hope to see you,
Katie
